February 27, 2012: Day one of attempted purging
1:17 PM – This is day one and the purging has begun, and as anticipated it is difficult. Been feeling really strong urges to do exactly what I am purging myself from, which was anticipated as I knew there would be those parts of myself who want only to continue the old paradigm; and in this case ‘continuing the old paradigm’ means indulging in exactly what I wish to get away from.
The human mind and emotions are staggering when it comes to habits or addictive types of behavior. I have not been at this long and already I’ve felt and thought of a slew of rationalizations and attempted decisions which are not in alignment with what I am trying to do, and if not for the support of Brandy as well as so many sending me their Lighted energies, I may have buckled under the pressure already.
I have things that I set up for myself to do whilst involved in this purging, and much of it is centered around reading material and learning more about the higher realms from such material, as well as meditation and a general going within to find ‘highs’ and higher dimensional stimulations that are so much greater and more fulfilling than any of my current habits are able to grace me with. Read the rest of this entry